Lazy Eye Stories
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EPISODE TWELVE
Eye Dies

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The arrival of Clarion Maria doesn’t mean that Eye isn’t going to taste the fresh methadone. It’s just that it won’t all be for him and he might not get in on selling it, which is okay since in terms of money he’s rich.

Rib and some younger, Rib-looking grunt called Dan dig a pipeline to Eye’s backyard, surfacing in a methadone font that feeds into a largish plastic pool.

Slave watches them dig, wishing badly to participate but, for some reason never explained to him, forbidden to even show his face.
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is all Eye thinks to say to him, and this only after several days of house arrest.

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So Slave roams the indoors letting his mind float. He searches the windows of what used to be his house, next door, for the Infanta, but doesn’t find her. He finds his Bethany costume no longer fits.
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NOT ONLY IS TODAY THE DAY

that Eye’s backyard pool is complete, it’s also the day that David Eidboff gets out on parole. His review hearing is always the same, the consensus being that he is perhaps fit to reenter the outside world “on extremely thin ice.”

The crime that breaks this ice and gets him sent back inside is always the same as well: attempting to murder Eye and collect the bounty offered by Slave’s parents for the return of their son and the annihilation of his taker.



The Giant Chinese ambulance, which doubles as the prison van, is idling in the roundabout. Sam Ren, the driver, is looking at a new tattoo that spells ROY G BIV across his knuckles, which he considers a crude but effective means of summoning the devil. The final knuckle sports a period.
David Eidboff knocks on the passenger’s side door and Sam Ren reaches across to open it, noticing, seemingly for the first time, that there’s already someone there – his brother Leo.
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he says to David Eidboff, who nods, knowing the drill. He hauls Sam Ren’s brother onto the blacktop and the prison guards swarm him with nets.

Then he sits down.

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David Eidboff nods, glad that by now they’re beyond the need to discuss what happened in prison.




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Sam Ren waits in the ULTRA MAX parking lot while David Eidboff buys a new gun and a box of ammo. Since it gets confiscated every time he goes back inside, he buys the cheapest model, arguing for ten minutes with the salesman who wants him to buy something special.
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BACK IN THE GIANT CHINESE AMBULANCE

they drive to Eye’s house, David Eidboff loading the gun as they go.

When they arrive, Sam Ren reaches behind his seat and hands over a brown bag of wontons and noodles.

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nods David Eidboff as the ambulance drives away and he lets himself into Eye’s house, through the side door that’s never locked, gun in one hand, Giant Chinese in the other.

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While David Eidboff is slinking through the house, Eye is on the roof, preparing to dive into his new pool.

Slave is behind him, wearing a robe that is all of a sudden too small. He’s never seen his knees from this angle before. They look modular, like somebody slapped them on.

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Eye teeters on the edge, looking at his reflection below. It looks huge, like the methadone has already taken effect.



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For a moment, Eye can’t tell whether it has:

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he thinks, knowing he mustn’t indulge this line of reasoning if he wants the day to have a next phase and not end now.

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he yells, preempting a swoon.
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Slave, though his mind’s elsewhere, obliges, heaving Eye as hard as he can, down toward the rippling, slimy liquid.
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Eye lands with a grass-killing splash and bubbles down into the brine. Slave watches from the edge of the roof, trying to catch a glint of Eye’s pleasure, as he’s lately taken to doing.


But instead of his usual purring groan, Eye is silent. All color has drained out of him and his white is starting to unfurl.

Terrified, Slave races down the ladder that connects roof to yard, and runs over to the pool.

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he shouts.

No answer.
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His own eyes starting to water, he reaches out a tentative finger. He hesitates at the edge of Eye’s failing membrane, not wanting to touch what he can see is an unwell body.
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Grabbing ahold of himself, he shoves his finger all the way in. Eye’s membrane loses the last of its integrity, turning from jelly to sauce. A swampy gas escapes, greenly visible in the hot sun. The whole Eye-shape deflates, slurping down into the methadone, which ripples and fizzes.

Disgust and grief push Slave’s face from both sides, until it feels like his eyes are touching his nose which is touching his mouth. Fumes from the pool and from what’s left of Eye make him want to pitch forward and drown.

He uses the last of his capacity to reach into the mess and fish out what looks an ostrich egg, Eye’s sole remnant. Submerging his hand, wrist, and forearm, he comes back with the egg squeezed between his fingers and his skin flaking off like filo dough.

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Unable to dam his tears, he holds the egg up to his face and whispers,

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WHILE SLAVE IS UNDERGOING THIS LIFE EVENT IN THE YARD,

Next, he would normally get under the sheets and have a little nap before taking his shot at Eye, but now he hears something unusual downstairs. He turns from the mirror, flexing what’s left of his deltoids, and sets off to investigate.


He enters the kitchen, gun raised, to find Slave slurping a plate of wontons and staring at a large egg on the counter.

Slave’s expression is so forlorn that David Eidboff feels his commitment to murder steaming away.

He enters the kitchen, gun raised, to find Slave slurping a plate of wontons and staring at a large egg on the counter.

Slave’s expression is so forlorn that David Eidboff feels his commitment to murder steaming away.

He comes up behind Slave and whispers,

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Next, he would normally get under the sheets and have a little nap before taking his shot at Eye, but now he hears something unusual downstairs. He turns from the mirror, flexing what’s left of his deltoids, and sets off to investigate.
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sobs Slave, convulsing. 
He points to the egg.

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Hefting his gun from hand to hand, all David Eidboff can think to say is,
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Gingerly, unsure if Slave will howl when he touches it, David Eidboff lifts the egg into the microwave and closes the door.
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he says, as soothingly as he can. There follows a long silence.
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Remembering the gun in his hand, David Eidboff hears the ULTRA MAX salesman in his ear and holds it out to Slave.

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he says.


Slave reaches out for it, his heart fat with emotions it’s never held before. The gun’s so heavy and his palm is so sweaty he almost drops it. With David Eidboff’s help, he manages to get a grip.



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Slave nods, afraid to believe his luck at finding such sympathy in a moment like this.


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adds David Eidboff, speaking from a hunch,

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